Bathroom Bizarre

Today I went to the toilet at work. That in itself isn’t particularly exciting, or worthy of a blog post. However, it was what happened while I was in bathroom that was awkward beyond belief, and so (naturally) I am going to write about it for the world (or at least the 6 people who seem to like my blog) to read.

So I went into the bathroom, and entered my stall (my usual stall, always the same one, closest to the door, because I read once that the stall closest to the door is statistically the most likely to house the cleanest toilet). I was convinced I was alone in the bathroom because it was quiet. And then I looked down and I saw this (really cool looking) orange handbag on the floor of the stall next to me. 

I have to say that I got a bit of a fright. When I say it was quiet in the bathroom, I mean that it was silent. You know how people just make people noise?

Like breathing?

Or movement?

Or blinking?

Well, I could hear NOTHING. The owner of this handbag was completely silent.

So then, of course, I started to worry that she had died in the stall. Or had a heart attack. Or something. Because no one is that quiet. It isn’t natural.

Of course, the thought that perhaps the handbag had been left behind, and the stall was empty, only crossed my mind after all of these previous thoughts. I tried to see whether any feet were visible, but I didn’t want to get down on my hands and knees (because, you know, “public” bathrooms), so I couldn’t see anything.

I considered just leaving, because really it was none of my business and why would I want to get involved in something that has nothing to do with me? But then I started to think about how awful I would feel (and my OCD started to rear its ugly face) if I woke up tomorrow morning to the headline: Body Found in UCT Toilet Stall. 

So I took the proverbial bull by the proverbial horns and knocked on the stall door. And the person said “yes”. So I tugged harder on the horns and asked if she was okay. And she said “yes” again (in a tone that was rather confused).  And I said “okay” and felt relieved.

And then I practically ran out of the bathroom in embarrassment. Because how could I explain that I was concerned because she was too quiet?

I imagine that right now there is someone relaying the story of this very weird woman who knocked on the door of the bathroom stall she was in and asked whether or not she was okay, when all she was doing was minding her own business.

#awkward

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Does anyone else have an awkward public bathroom story? Make me feel better about my story and share in the comments below!

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11 thoughts on “Bathroom Bizarre

  1. I have to laugh because I would totally do this. Sometimes my mind runs away with itself and I would start thinking about the crisis in the stall next to me. Lol, Don’t feel weird about an awkward bathroom story. Just remember Elaine in the “spare a square” Seinfeld episode, we have all been there. When you have kids who feel perfectly comfortable to ask you all kids of poo questions while they are on the toilet, with the door wide open in a public rest room. Especially awkward when they are commenting loudly about the smell or sounds of the occupied stall next to you!

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  2. What a super cool post! I don’t usually read blogs but whenever I do, I come across these out-of-the-world reflective writings or experiences that ‘wow’ me and possibly the rest of the world. Such ‘amazingness’ of blogs is part of the reason I haven’t start a blog of my own — why? Because what super-interesting things do I have to share with the world? I guess it’s just the fear of running out of ideas to write on or share.
    However, I saw myself in this scenario when I came across this writing. This is such a down-to-earth everyday realistic post that most of us don’t care to share. And yes, I cared enough to read. I’ve had sooo many bizarre bathroom moments that I’m even afraid to share so I commend you for bravely sharing this cool story.

    How did I find it? Well I did an awkward thing this morning by browsing through the Facebook ‘people you may know’ list and actually opening people’s profiles to read their posts and see their pics. Then I saw a ‘Robyn Jansen van Vuuren (Human)’. So I’m like, ‘what?! Robyn Human got married?!’ I know Robyn from 2013, she’s the writing consultant at the UCT Writing Centre who I considered one of the best in reviewing essays. When I booked a consultation, I always wanted Robyn, lol! You were amazing, Robyn, hands down. Anyway, I later bumped into you randomly at the EDU department ’cause Shannon’s office is there and she’s one of my supervisors (I’m doing a Masters in Anthro). So anyway, that’s how I know you and actually decided to read.

    I’ll definitely be reading more of your posts — so you can add another reader to your list. Yay!

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    1. Oh, I forgot to add that I also went through your Facebook posts and found the link to your blog taking me here. 🙂 creepy, I know…

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  3. This is hysterical and made me laugh (maybe because I could see myself in the story). I too use the bathroom stall closest to the door for the very same reason – which makes me wonder if many women have read this same information, changed their habit to use this toilet, thus making it no longer the cleanest. The OCD part of thinking if you did not check to see if she were alright and then reading about it the next day is me! Thank you for sharing your story and causing me to laugh out loud.

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      1. I went into a public bathroom during this past week, and the first stall was the only one that didn’t have toilet paper in it… Clearly our information is outdated.

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